John Egbert and the Olympians
by Zayliah
Summary: Our story begins with a boy in his room, today is his thirteenth birthday. This boy stands in a somewhat tidy room with a few clothes here and there. John Egbert is this boy's name and he is getting ready to go to school. Little does he know that his life is about to take an interesting and wild turn down Greek lane. ((Rated T for now.))
1. Chapter 1

So I decided to try my hand at a Homestuck / Percy Jackson crossover. I know there are probably a few grammatical errors and maybe a few typos. But please bear with me. I'll try to post at least one chapter a week but I can make no real promises as my internet has gotten into the habbit of playing Yoyo Connection with me. I'm going to try to keep the characters as cannon as I possibly can but there will more than likely be OC personality moments.

Main Pairings have yet to be decided. But what everyone is has been. I.E Demigod, Satyr, etc.

Rated T for now.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Homestuck. I do not own Percy Jackson. This is a fanbased crossover.

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Our story begins with a boy in his room, today is his thirteenth birthday. This boy stands in a somewhat tidy room with a few clothes here and there. John Egbert is this boy's name and he is getting ready to go to school. He groans in annoyance while looking at the clock. He had just ten minutes of freedom left, before he had to leave from the apartment building to wait at the dingy bus stop.

"John, come here please." His father called from the kitchen. Heaving a sigh he hoisted his backpack onto his shoulder and exited his room and entered the kitchen. There he saw his father cooking breakfast and his stepmom sitting on the couch lazily drinking a beer and clicking through channels. He scoffed at this but it was nothing new. Why his dad stayed with her he'd never know.

"Yea Dad?" He said trying to avoid looking at the clock.

"Do you have a field trip today?" He asked flipping the pancake.

"Uh yeah…." He replied with a tight lip. He wasn't really interested in going but he had little choice.

"I made you a bag lunch." He pointed the spatula at a brown paper bag sitting on the counter near the door.

"Oh… uh thanks Dad." He went to uncurl the top to see what was inside but his eardrums were assaulted by a horrible sound. He quickly put his hands over his ears to save his hearing, or what was left of it.

"Where's my pancake sand bacon?!" The shrill voice of his stepmom sounded even more irritated than normal. She must be PMSing. John thought to himself as he watched his Dad scurry to make her a plate. The older man than juggled the plate of pancakes, syrup, peanut butter, and chocolate before briskly walking into the living room where the harpy was roasted.

He grabbed the paper bag and peaked into the other room. The beast of a woman was having him put everything on the pancake, she'd probably end up making him cut it up and feed it to her double chinned claptrap.

"You still here?" His stepmom said with a sneer.

"Oh pardon me Gayla. Is it now a crime that I want to say bye to my Dad?" He retorted with a smug tone. This… wasn't the best move. Because Gayla shot up and waddled her way over to John before smacking him with her fat flappy arm, sending him to the floor.

"Mind your tone with me, brat!" She snapped kicking his shin for good measure before waddling back over to the couch. His Dad abandoned the pancake to help John up with a sad look.

John brushed off the help and stood while holding his cheek, he swiftly left the apartment with a bang of the door and a rushed bye. He ran to the bus stop and in his haste he ran head first into a tall lanky frame. He would've stumbled back onto the concrete but his fall was stopped by a hand gripping onto his forearm.

"Whoa you okay, motherfucker?" Came the southern accent of his only friend as he pulled him back to his feet. Gamzee was a tall fellow that wore face paint that was similar to what the band members in ICP dawned. But Gamzee hated their music with an unyielding passion. Also, when the clown walked it seemed like every step was taken with pain.

"Rough morning…" He replied rubbing his cheek.

"Ahh, did that blasphemous heifer tag you?" Gamzee asked looking over at his friend. Before he could answer the bus came to a screeching halt in front of them.

"I don't want to talk about it Gam." He replied getting onto the bus, he found an empty seat and quickly slid into it with Gamzee following. They were quite the odd pair of friends but friends none the less. It happened when Gamzee defended him from bullies trying to take his lunch money.

The bus ride was uneventful and getting to class was same per usual. The hustle and bustle of doing so involved, bullies knocking things out of others hands, being careful not to bump into the wrong person, and oh yeah plugging his nose to keep out the smell of pot and bleach in the hallway. Just another typical day, or, so he thought until he entered the classroom where a substitute stood where Ms. Danny should've been. Instead their stood a short pudgy woman wearing tacky clothes and a bandanna to hold back her greying hair. She looked more like a cleaning lady than a substitute teacher.

He took his usual seat in the back of the class with Gamzee sitting behind him. He reached into his back and pulled out a notebook and pencil before even looking at the chalkboard. Oh yes, his school was so wonderful that they still had to use chalk. Upon the board, John supposed that it was the substitute's name.

"What a weird motherfucking name." Gamzee commented. "Ms. Paint."

"It is." He replied with a small snort. He lowered his head and began to doodle in the notebook. It's not that he didn't want to pay attention in class; it's that he had dyslexia. And for those that don't know what that is. It means that he can't read like everyone else. The letters would jumble together and dance around like they were on a merry fuck you Egbert parade.

"Nice red mark you got there, Egderp." A gruff voice stated as the owner slammed their palm on his desk. The grungy texture of the gloved hand could only belong to Frank Rhett. "What happened? Did you get rejected?"

John sighed, pursing his lips. He really didn't want to deal with the class bully today. "What happened to your face? Oh wait it's like that every day." That was his comeback. Smooth move John, he thought to himself.

"You little…" Frank pulled his fist back but the bell rang shrilly, causing a chain reaction of slamming doors. "I'll get you later Egderp." Frank threatened before taking his seat, two desks away from John.

"John Egbert." the substitute's voice sounded many minutes later, causing him to look up from his doodling. "What did Othello mean by these words?" She pointed to said words on the chalkboard.

John stared at the board, his eyes trying to focus and do the process but the words today were moving around so much he had to shut his eyes and looked away with a sigh.

"I don't know." He muttered, feeling the eyes of his classmates on him, he was grateful that the bell sounded not even a minute later. But today that meant that he'd be heading to the bus to go to the museum with the rest of his class and two other rooms.

He quickly put his notebook away and slung his backpack over his shoulder he joined the rest of the class that was bustling out the door. It was an awkward bus ride seeing as Gamzee ended up having to ride a different bus as the one he'd been pushed onto was full.

The students poured out of the yellow twinkies and onto the sidewalk. John wanted to get off the bust even more so; he couldn't sit still for very long without feeling jittery. Lovely side effects of having ADHD. But in his haste to get off the bus, he nearly ran into the substitute teacher but caught himself in a weird twirl around her to avoid impact.

"Sorry." He quickly apologized rubbing the back of his neck with a nervous laugh.

"No harm done, Mr. Egbert." She smiled humbly before turning on her heel to stand on the steps above the rest of the crowd. "Be courteous to the museums property and should a rabble rouser think they can get away with misdeeds. I warn you know that there are security cameras all over the building. Now please follow me."

"Heh she gets straight to the motherfucking point." Gamzee said seeming to materialize next to John causing a jerky motion from the buck toothed thirteen year old.

"Gah!" He exclaimed. "I hate it when you do that you know?"

"Do what?" He asked as they slowly made their way up the steps.

"Pop out of nowhere like a jack in the box."

"Sorry friend. It just happens." Gamzee replied with his signature laugh. It always made him imagine of a goose trying to laugh with a mix of honks and ha's.

They slipped in with the other students through the brass doors before being allowed a little bit of breathing room as people went off in different groups. Gamzee had opted to pull John towards Ms. Paint's group which was smaller than the rest. While Ms. Paint droned on about the prehistoric section, John was only partly listening when he heard Gamzee inhale deeply and turned to his friend.

"What's in the bag friend? It smells miraculous!" Gamzee asked with a sniff. John looked down at the paper bag realizing he still didn't know what was in it. Gingerly uncurling the bag he sighed heavily. Inside were cupcakes and sandwiches. "Hmmmm cupcakes… I love cupcakes."

"You…. You can have them then." He held out the bag to Gamzee who flinched back at the arm thrust towards him.

"You sure friend? I don't wanna be motherfucking rude, ya know? "

"I'm not a big fan of sugary treats. My Dad cooks them too much." He exclaimed shaking the bag to add to the fact that it was okay.

"Ahh yeah gonna get my grub on later." Gamzee smiled broadly.

"Mr. Makara, Mr. Egbert, please pay attention." Ms. Paint said with a slightly stern tone.

"Sorry ma'am." Gamzee said with a lazy smile, happy to have a sugary treat to eat. Ms. Paint then continued with the tour of the museum.

"Here we have the three brothers, The Signless, The Grand Highblood, and the Condescension. These gods were the three eldest of sons of the Titan, Lord Caliborn. With their combined power they were able to defeat their tyrannical father and toss his remains into the deepest part of Tartarus."

John was only half paying attention to what Ms. Paint was saying. He instead was looking around, oddly curious about the sculptures, paintings, and murals.

"Mr. Egbert." Ms. Paint said firmly, as if she said his name more than a few times.

"Uh…what?" He replied, earning a few snickers. He looked down sheepishly at this, not wanting to be the center of attention at the moment.

"Can you tell me what the offspring of a mortal and a god is?" She asked shifting her weight. He looked at her than at the mural behind her at the greek writing. He squinted at the words as they jumbled about to form a sentence that for some reason he could read.

'Hercules was believed to be a Demigod.'

"Demigod…" he muttered, sighing he looked at Ms. Paint with an slightly unsure look. "Demigods?"

"That is correct." She smiled brightly looking to the left as another teacher came running up to her, whispering something hushed in her ear. "Ah I see… Uh students please head back to the lobby. No questions just go."

John ruffled his hair with a long sigh, "Gamzee I'll catch up. I want to stay here for a few minutes longer okay?"

"Alright I'll catch you in a few." Gamzee waved him off and went off with the others.

John stood in front of the mural pondering even more how he could read it. He was pretty sure he didn't know Greek at all. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't noticed that he wasn't alone, until the other person spoke.

"Where is it?"

John looked to where the voice had sounded to see Frank standing there. "What?"

"WHERE IS IT?" Frank roared before John saw his clothes and for that matter his skin rip clean off. And in place of where the class bully had been, there stood a grotesque creature that looked like an oversized chicken with mean talons.

"Whoa!" He exclaimed before turning tail, ducking as he heard the flap of wings and a screech overhead.

"You stole the lightening bolt!" Frank screeched.

"I don't know what you're talking about! Oh my god!" He yelled out as Frank came swooping towards him, his taloned feet clamping onto his biceps and lifting him up in the iar.

"You have it! Give it to me! Or I will feast on your rotting corpse!"

"John!" Came Gamzee's voice, this earned the attention of Frank who growled.

"Let him go!" Ms. Paint's voice joined in.

"YOU!"

"You do as I say or I'll turn you into dinner for hellhounds!" Ms. Paint yelled.

Frank let out a loud screech before dropping John who flailed before hitting the hard floor. The monster then flew off out the sky window. John lay there for a moment before standing up, adrenaline shooting through his veins.

"Oh prankster jesus I need to be on meds. Oh fuck fuck fuck." He rambled on shaking slightly.

"John, bro calm down." Gamzee said, leaning down slightly to Ms. Paints height.

"Did that really just happen?! He just turned into an oversized chicken and tried to make mincemeat out of me!?" John exclaimed rubbing his hands together to try and calm down but it really wasn't working.

"A harpy. Concealed in the school, I should have known." Ms. Paint stated with a groan, as if she was scolding herself for not noticing sooner or something.

"What do we do?" Gamzee asked, wiping cupcake frosting off on his sleeve.

"There's little choice. He's not safe here. We'll have to move him to the camp." Ms. Paint replied gnawing on her lip.

"What? Harpy? What are you talking about? What camp? And why did you say you could turn Frank into dinner?" John fired off more questions but was greeted with no real answers.

"John take this." Ms. Paint demanded, pulling out a mini-colorful looking trinket in the shape of an odd looking hammer. He reached out and took it. "It is a powerful weapon. Guard it well."

"Thi…this is a prize you win in a 25 cent machine! What are you-"

"Gamzee get him home and tell his Dad. Go."

"Will somebody-"

"John, bro we gotta go. Now." Gamzee said while grabbing onto Johns hand and pulling him along until he followed willing. "Don't stop, don't look at anybody just keep moving."

"Will you explain what the fuck is going on?" John exclaimed having to jog just to keep up.

"Later motherfucker. Just come on!" Gamzee snapped looking around as he hailed a taxi.

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Feedback is more than welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay so bad news, my internet has gone out completely. Right now, I'm actually sitting at a Denny's just to publish this chapter. I can't guarentee that it will be every week or every few days. My brother thinks that someone dropped the internet box and that's why the power button is blinking and the connection only lasts for about two minutes. Idk _ but yeah it's pretty much gone completely.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Homestuck or Percy Jackson.

So without further ado, the second part of the story.

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The taxi came to a screeching halt outside John's apartment building, causing John to lurch forward because of it. He slid out of the taxi as Gamzee paid the driver. He felt a bit wobbly but he wasn't given time to stand around as Gamzee grabbed his hand and pulled him along. The two thirteen year olds ascended the stairs quickly and into John's apartment. The door banged against the wall causing everyone that was in the apartment to look towards them.

"Dad I'm home." John uttered out of habit.

"Mr. Egbert," Gamzee started but was interrupted by Gayla.

"So rude, can't you see he's servicing my friends and I." She stated with a snobby tone. She flicked her hand towards the kitchen where Dad was, still cooking. Hell, John would wager she had him cooking all day, fat slob.

"Shut up Gayla." John snapped, his nerves running on high as the fat woman stood and made to repeat the actions of this morning. The bucktoothed teen flinched as she raised her arm but the hit never came. Instead he opened his eyes to Gayla on the floor holding her abdomen; the three biddies sitting at the table all had shocked expressions.

"You're not gonna touch my bro, heifer." Gamzee stated. John looked from Gayla to his friend lowering his leg; did the clown just kick his Step-mom? Not that he was complaining about this development. It's just he always thought that there was something wrong with Gamzees legs with the way he walked all the time. "Mr. Egbert, John needs to go now."

As soon as those words left the painted lips of clown, his attentions were drawn to the shattering of a glass plate; never in his thirteen years did he think he would see his Dad drop a plate of surgery confections. The fedora wearing man yanked his oven mitts and apron off, tossing them away he strode over to the door, grabbing a set of keys off a hook near the door.

"Garage." His Dad said with urgency. Gamzee pushed John back towards and out the door. They decesnded the stairs and into the garage beneath. His Dad made a bee line for a black mustang, John instantly reconized it. This poor vehicale sadly belonged to the whale.

"John, get in the car!" Gamzee called as he slid into the backseat.

"N..NO!" he snapped stubbornly. "Not until someone explains what the ever loving fuck is going on!"

"John, I will explain everything but right now you need to get in the car. You're not safe here anymore." His Dad pleaded with him. John puffed out his cheeks and stiffly moved his legs to the passenger door and slid in, slamming the door for good measure. The older man jammed the key into the ignition, letting the engine roar to life. "Seatbelts." Was all that his Dad uttered as he sped out of the garage and onto the road.

John had always known his Dad to be a cautious driver but today, his Dad was weaving in and out of traffic, taking lights when they were yellow. He wasn't stopping for anything. It was only as they crossed the city limits that he even started driving like a sane person.

"Where do I even begin…" His Dad whispered gripping the wheel even tighter.

"Anywhere would be nice! Although this explanation better involve giving me a fucking good reason as to why I was attacked by a six foot tall flying chicken!" He turned in his seat to look at his friend in the backseat.

"Harpy." Gamzee stated giving out the correct term to what attacked John.

"…." His Dad bit his lip and stared out intently at the road. "This…. Everything started with you Mother, John…"

The dark haired boy wasn't expecting that. "My mom…?"

"This is going to be a long story son…." His Dad sighed as if he was ready to finally get this all off his shoulders. "It all started when I was visiting family down in California."

"So my mom didn't want me?" He asked with a slightly bitter tone. He was feeling very betrayed right now. He was told his mom had gone away, what he thought that meant was that she'd died. And the fact that he'd been attacked by a harpy didn't even faze his Dad in the slightest. What else was his old man keeping from him?

"No, my boy, no. You're Mom loved you. She wanted to stay…" He said reassuringly. "If circumstances were different, she would have stayed with us. But… things happened that others thought weren't right for someone of her… status. She really wasn't given a choice, she had to leave."

"Yeah… right…" He muttered turning his back to his Dad to stare out the window. "What about this camp?"

"…" The older man looked over at his son with sad eyes. "I wanted to keep you from all this, John. Your Mom wanted me to send you to the camp sooner, but I was stubborn and didn't want to agree with her. That you'd be safer there, so stupid was I…"

"Look out!" Gamzee shouted pointing to the flying car that had been flung in their way. John held onto the seat as his Dad tried to swerve to avoid it but another car came crashing down in front of them, causing them to flip over it and land upside down.

"J..John… ow… are you okay?" His Dad groaned as he put a hand on his son's shoulder.

"Ugh…. I'm just peachy Dad." He replied with sarcasm. "Nothing like getting into a car wreck to brighten my already fucked up day."

"Gamzee are you-" John turned asked before he smelled gas. "Oh shit."

"Get out of the car motherfuckers." Gamzee snapped as he unbuckled his seat.

"It's jammed!" His Dad exclaimed jerking on the door handle. John tried his door but it was jammed as well. He looked towards the backseat slowly when he heard the distinct sound of a zipper being pulled down.

"Whoa whoa! Why are you taking your pants off?!" He exclaimed watching his friend pull off his baggy jeans to reveal something even stranger. "You're half sheep?!"

"I'm half sea goat." He replied as he kicked the back window out. "This way, come on. And watch out for the fucking glass." Gamzee snapped as he crawled out.

John unbuckled his seat belt and fell down to the roof. His Dad was pushing down on the buckle but it appeared to be jammed. John righted himself as best he could and added more pressure to the button and only then did it give way. The older man fell with a thud to the roof.

"Hurry up!" Gamzee shouted from outside the car. The two Egberts crawled towards the back window, the older one making John go first.

"Ouch." John winced as his shards dug into his skin, even though he tried to avoid them. It mostly happened because of the haste to get away from the still leaking car. The trio made a mad sprint away from the car before a barely audible psszztt sounded, not a moment later the car exploded. The force of the blast had thrown them forward. John wound up in the ditch next to the road.

"Ughhh….." John groaned, looking up at the sky. For a second he wasn't able to hear or register that his Dad was calling and shaking him.

"John. John!"

"I…. oww…." He shook his head before giving a nod that said he was okay. Gamzee and his Dad pulled him to his feet where he nearly went back down from wobbly knees.

"The camps just through there." Gamzee stated pointing to the woods.

"….I'm…. oh what the hell is that…?" John asked wondering if he was seeing things. But no, he wasn't the cow that was flung towards them proved that as it came crashing just a few feet from him.

"Oh gods!" His Dad's face seemed to pale considerably as a large, bovine thundered over the hill with a mooing roar. John let out a small grunt that just meant that he was so done right now.

"Run, motherfuckers, run." Gamzee said sprinting towards the woods, his goat legs seemed to carry him like he was running on air, finned tail swaying behind him. John and his Dad followed after, through bushes and trees before they came to a small open area. The bucktooth boy looked up as they ran towards an archway that read 'Camp Half-Blood.'

He followed Gamzee through the arch way before coming to a halt seeing as the other had. John turned around to see his Dad just… standing there. "Dad what are you doing? Come on!" He reached out and grabbed the older man's hand and tried to pull him. But, something was keeping his Dad from going forward.

"John just go." His Dad stated grunting as his son tried to pull him through the barrier.

"I'm not leaving-"

"Yes you are!" He snapped prying John's hand off his own.

"No, Dad come on!" John made to reach for his Dad's hand again only to have it be smacked away.

"I can't go in, I'm not like you!" He hung his head with a sad sigh. What happened in the next minute seemed to go by so slowly. He had seen the monster running towards his Dad, saw him be snatch up before squeezing the fedora wearing man like he were a box of juice. He wasn't even able to take a step forward when his Dad disappeared into mist.

"DAD!" He roared running back out from the archway.

"John! Click the trinket! Click it!" His friend shouted. John did so and let out a startled, HOLY SHIT, as the trinket grew five times its size.

More adrenaline pumped through his veins as he ran at the monster. The bull got on all fours and charged at him. At the last second, John jumped and pushed off its meaty head before it could smash into him and did a flip while swinging the hammer. Effectively causing the monster to smash into the ground from the blow. How he did that he didn't know but he wasn't given much time to ponder as the beast was getting back up. It swung it's meaty arms, backhanding him into a tree, his weapon was knocked out his hand and went skidding off somewhere.

John groaned before his eyes went wide as saucers, he quickly rolled to the left to avoid being impailed. His role landed him on his feet as he took in the sight before him. The creature had gotten it's horn stuck in the thick trunk of the tree, it roared with anger.

John looked to where the hammer had fallen. It was a good ways away from the fight. The monster grunted and pulled, twisting its head it broke off its horn with a pained roar. It stumbled back and fell onto its fat ass. John made the decision to try and pull out the horn, much to the dismay of his shouting friend.

"John! Look out!" Gamzee shouted as the creature got back to its feet. The bull shook its head before zoning in on its target once more. It snorted and got on all fours again before charging. John ignored the pain in his palms before pulling with all his might. The horn slipped free just in time for John to turn around ducking a meaty arm before jamming the sharp object under the ripcage of the beast. It squealed and roared before falling over with a last rattling moo.

John looked towards his friend who was just now coming out of the archway. He felt extremely light headed, he put a hand to his sweat drenched face. "I… I don't feel so good…." The world seemed to turn sideways and vanish as he fell over. Gamzee dashed over to his friend just in time to catch him as the adrenaline finally wore off.

John was out cold, hoping that this all was a dream.

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Reviews are wanted :D


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry that it's starting off slow, just need to get through one more chapter and things will really get going, I promise. And I'm starting to figure out the pairings but suggestions are welcome. Enjoy this one took up about eight pages up on word processor. But Fanfiction makes all that work seem quite small :I

Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck or Percy Jackson.

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Blue eyes fluttered open blurriness biting at the edges of the owners' vision. John blinked several times to get rid of said blurriness. As they cleared he noticed a wooden ceiling like the kind you find in a wooden lodge or something. This puzzled John as did the sudden wince of pain to his left, curiosity gripped him and he turned his head towards the noise.

He saw a young kid wincing as a woman was changing the gauze on his torso. John propped himself up on his elbows and looked around. He was in an open building with hammocks lining the walls, men and woman with medical supplies and herbs were walking leisurely around or sitting next to an occupied hammock. He ran a hand down his face with a groan was he still dreaming?

"Hey friend." A familiar voice sounded to his right.

"Oh hey Gamzee." He replied with his hand still over his eyes.

"How ya feelin' motherfucker?"

"I... uh... I had the craziest dream last night. It had giant cows, my dad, and you. But you were some hybrid goat human thing- holy shit." He exclaimed as he finally pulled his hand away to look at his friend.

"Well if ya wanna be motherfuckin' correct I'm a Capricorn Satyr but Satyr for short." He stated with a swish of his finned tail and a clop of his cloven hooves.

"Oh…" He swung his legs over the side of his hammock and groaned. "No no no…. last night wasn't a dream? Then my Dad…"

"I'm sorry friend." Gamzee said in his own tone to try and convey his condolences. "You've been out for about three days. But it's about time you learned everythin'."

"Three days? Seriously!"

"Yeah and I think it's about time you motherfuckin' learned everything that's been kept from you." Gamzee said turning and gesturing for his friend to follow. John pushed up from the hammock and wobbled a moment before finding his balance.

He couldn't help stealing glances at his friends' legs, it was weird but interesting. He was suddenly stopped as he heard five thunks. "Watch the arrows fuckers, new guy here." John swallowed hard, it's like Death had his number and just enjoyed giving him more close calls.

"You gotta keep your eyes open around here." Gamzee explained as they continued. John was trying to do just that but there was so much going on. There were kids of all ages running around on obstacle courses made of rope, wood, and a rock wall.

"You're special John."

"Yeah right, Gamzee. What's special about me? I've dyslexia and ADHD."

Gamzee sighed heavily and ran a hand through his unkempt hair before speaking again. "Now you remember Ms. Paint asked you that question in the museum? How some of the Greek Gods would come down and get with a motherfucking mortal, and they'd have kids?"

"What…" He muttered as he thought back. "No way."

"That's right friend, you're a Demi-god, mirthful miracles for John Egbert." Gamzee clapped his hands as if to say yes the message clicked. "The ADHD? You're jittery you can't sit still for long periods of time. I've seen what you get like motherfucker when you're forced to sit for more than an hour. Bouncing off the walls like a kid who stole all the cookies in the cookie jar. Those are your battle reflexes friend. And your brain is hard wired to read the greeky language not English."

"Okay that explains that." He exhaled with a deep sigh. "I'm having a hard time believing that, Gamz… Uhhhh…." He stopped mis-sentence when he they came to a stop at a field where more kids of various ages were sword fighting.

But his attention was drawn to the girl in the middle. She wore deep blue long sleeved shirt and a chest plate vest with those dangly things that Greek armor had at the bottom. She was swing around a sword with skill and effectively caused her opponent to stumble backward. She had shoulder length black hair and wore a smug grin. "Who is that?"

"Ahaha, she eats people for breakfast."

"Her name." He stated firmly pursing his lips.

"Vriska, daughter of Mindfang." He replied with a snort. "Alright enough ogglin', she might come over here and stab you. We need to find Ms. Paint and Mr. Strider."

John reluctantly tore his eyes away from the deadly beauty and followed after Gamzee once more. They made their way down a long slanted dirt path until they reached the shore where John saw an even more amazing sight. From far away they looked like a herd of horses but as one broke off from the ranks and galloped towards them, it was in fact not a horse. Or rather it was a horse that lacked a head and instead had the upper body of a man.

"Mr. Strider." Gamzee greeted the horse-man. His flank was a mild mustard color that matched his duckbutt hair style. "I see Mr. Egbert has woken up and is none worse for the wear."

"Y….You have a horses ass." He stated bluntly, earning a brief silence before Mr. Strider laughed.

"Well yes, yes I do. And I am proud of my plush horse rump." The horse man replied, reaching back to give said plush rump a pat. "Now I trust that Gamzee has informed you of what you are."

"A Demi-god." John said as if he himself was still trying to accept that fact.

"Where's Ms. Paint?" Gamzee asked lazily.

"She is helping the cooks today." Mr. Strider explained. "Though I think we need to get you settled into Cabin Eleven, Mr. Egbert."

"Uh I guess that's okay…" He rubbed the back of his neck. Part of him was screaming that this was a dream, which he'd wake up from soon. But the other part was saying; just go with it. The trio walked down along the beach before going up a different dirt path that seemed to lead to more training grounds.

"Over there is the mess hall. Breakfast is at 6 AM, Lunch is at 12:00 PM, and Dinner is at 6 PM." Mr. Strider explained as they passed an area that was lined with columns surrounding it in a square. Inside he could see tables here and there. He could even make out a spit roast, and a huge fire pit.

"The stables are over there and the cabins are this way."

John followed next to the horse man with Gamzee on the other side. They passed through the camp and came to an area where there were several different looking cabins, thus giving this place a more 'camp' feel. The trio came to a halt when a group of Demi-gods approached Mr. Strider. John pretty much drowned out what they were saying as he took in each cabins unique look.

There were five on each side and two in the middle. The two cabins in the middle stood in a next to each other while the others fanned out to make something resemble of a V shape. The courtyard itself contained a fire pit, two fountains equally distanced from the fire pit, and flower beds that made a circle around everything in the middle.

Starting from the right row, the head cabin was a large, olive green wooden lodge with vines growing up the pillars erected in front of double doors that had bear pelts hanging on them. It reminded of a hunting lodge.

Officially starting the slant of cabins on the right though was a cabin that looked like a three year old had gotten ahold of paint and just splashed various colors everywhere.

The second one was purple and black with zig zags here and there. It had a fancy snobbish look to it though, as if it was over compensating for something. There was also various weapon racks on the porch.

The third cabin had a homely feel to it. Like a big cottage with various lengths of ram horns mounted on the outside. The paint job was a dark green with small black spiral designs.

The fourth one was teal and red. A statue of Lady Justice was firmly planted on the roof, and it had hang nooses dangling on the sides. Overall it reminded John more of a courthouse than a cabin.

The last one in the right row was red on one side and blue on the other. The double doors were a black and yellow bee-stripe paint job. This one was rather… tacky.

He looked from the right row to the left row. The head cabin next to the olive green one was a silvery gray marble with impressive columns going all around it to support the roof. This cabin had one medium sized door that was a very vibrant red, almost like blood.

The cabin next to it was an open concept cabin with wooden pillars supporting the roof. It reminded him more of a pier than anything else. The little color that the cabin had was black wood and a single fuchsia strip going up each pillar.

The second cabin was well, to put in simple terms, it was freaking green house. Vines had taken to growing up each side of the cabin and dirt beds with various flowers lined the ground around it. Just looking at it made him want to sneeze just thinking how much pollen was permeating around it.

The third was like an inn with two stories with a nice peanut butter brown paint job. The wooden doors were black with three matching fuzzy red caterpillar looking stripes. Above the doorway was a symbol that John had seen on ambulances before. A cadduhhh… caduss… oh fuck the two snakes twining around a staff that symbol!

The forth cabin was a deep blue with hammers being the actual door knobs to the metal cabin. It was like a bomb shelter and the two demi-gods exciting the cabin were like those big meaty football players he'd seen on TV.

The last cabin was a deep blue with black doors, scorpion sculptures weaved around the front columns in gold. They almost looked alive. What caught John off guard was the freaking Jacuzzi that had been wedged into the side of the cabin, and he had to admit that it was larger than any he'd ever seen.

"Sorry for the delay." Mr. Strider said while he reached down and put a hand on John's shoulder, which caused the bucktoothed kid to nearly jump out of his skin as he'd pretty much spaced out. "Let's continue."

"Gamzee!" The girls called as they passed by the cabin with the Jacuzzi.

"Oh hello ladies." He replied with a chuckle. "Hey Mr. Strider you got this, "Hey motherfuckers, I'll catch you later. I'm being hailed by the lovelies over there."

"What Gamz—" He called after his friend but he'd already sprinted off and jumped into the Jacuzzi with a weeee. Earning giggles from the bikini wearing hotties.

"Satyrs." Mr. Strider commented shaking his head before walking forward, John following reluctantly. They continued down the left row until they reached the inn looking cabin.

"Go on inside and get acquainted with everyone." Mr. Strider said giving him a pat on the shoulder. Unlike the other cabins, this one had only one door and it was too narrow for the horse man.

John looked at the door and gingerly stepped towards it, a lump forming in his throat. He reached out and turned the door knob, pushing it open. He was greeted by a room that seemed to stretch forever. The other campers stopped what they were doing to look towards the door, as if they could smell that he was fresh meat. Oh yes, that gut clenching feeling he knew all too well. All the kids were looking at him, sizing him up; it was just like every first day at a new school that he'd gone to.

"Are you coming in or just going to stand there?" A girl off to the right asked. John feeling nervous took a step and more or less stumbled into the cabin, earning snickers from the other campers.

_**Nice, John. What a way to make a good first impression.**_ He thought to himself as he straightened himself with a nervous chuckle.

"Are you decided or undecided?" A boy with brown hair asked from the crowd forming around him. John stiffened slightly, feeling like he was a rabbit and the crowd were wolves.

"I don't know that that means." John admitted looking confused.

"Undecided." Another groaned.

"Oh put a cork in it." An older guy snapped as he stepped out from the crowd. "That is no way to treat a newbie. This is the Cabin of the Summoner, we accept all travelers." He then shooed off the crowd before turning back to John. "What's your name?"

"John Egbert." He replied swallowing the lump in his throat.

"I'm Rufioh Nitram. I'm the Cabin counselor for cabin eleven." He grinned wide while grabbing Johns hand to shake it firmly, much to the youngers surprise. "Now where can we put you?"

"Put me?" He muttered while looking around, now just realizing how crowded this cabin was, even with it being two stories. He motioned for him to follow. The two went up the stairs where it still looked just a little less crowded than the ground level.

"Why are there so many campers in this cabin?"

"Because they're undecided or their Dad is the Summoner." Rufioh replied with a shrug.

"Oh uh…."

"Ah here we go!" Rufioh exclaimed before pulling John towards the corner where a bunk bed stood. "Dave!"

He watched as a boy rolled off the top bunk and landed perfectly on his feet. John couldn't help but stare. In front of him was a kid about his age wearing sunglasses inside, his stance just seemed to ooze confidence and pride. But what caught John off-guard was the snow white locks gracing this guy's head.

"Who's the new dude?" He asked jerking his head in John's direction. "He looks like a dork."

"I am not a dork!" He snapped puffing out his cheeks and clenching his fists. This just made the albino snicker. "If anyone's a dork it's you. Who wears shades inside?"

"This cool guy right here." He replied pointing to himself. There was a moment of silence before both John and Dave just suddenly started laughing.

"This 'dork', Dave, is John Egbert. You know the one we've all been hearing so much about."

"Wait what?" John raised an eyebrow at this.

"Word tends to travel like a plague of locusts in this camp." Dave explained. "But I will admit I was half expecting that the newbie who slew the Minotaur would be taller."

"Minotaur? You mean that oversized man-cow?" John asked before registering that he'd been called small. "Hey! I'm average height for my age!"

"Easy there dude. No need to bite my head off." Dave held up his hand in a mock defense. "If it makes you feel better, your dork meter just went up to not-so-much-a-dork-but-still-pretty-dorky."

The two turned their heads when Rufioh chuckled. "Well, I don't think that you two will tear each other's throats out. I think you two will have a bang-a-ranging friendship. Oh and Dave he'll be sharing the bunk bed with you."

"Fine by me." He replied with a shrug and a smirk. "Maybe when I'm sleeping my swag will descend down on you." Dave smirked at the bucktoothed kid. John couldn't help but agree with Rufioh, the potential for a decent or good friendship was blooming.

_**Even if this albino shade wearing kid was a douche nozzle. **_John thought as a bell chimed loudly outside.

"Finally." Dave stated with a sigh. As if he'd been waiting for said bell to ring for a long time.

"What's that bell mean?" John asked looking towards Rufioh.

"It means it's time to head out to the mess hall for lunch." Rufioh replied while rubbing his belly. At the mention of getting something to eat, John belly gave off a tremendous growl. He patted his belly as if to scold it for being so loud.

"No need to be embarrassed, you were out for a bit. Anyone would be flipping staving by now." Rufioh laughed and patted him on the back, a little harder than needed. "Everyone downstairs."

"Enough chit chat, time to get some grub." Dave exclaimed impatiently.

"Alright, alright. Everyone downstairs." He raised his voice so that everyone on the top floor heard him. There was a mass stomping of feet as everyone made their way down the stairs. Rufioh jerked his head at John and Dave who got the message and joined the others on the bottom level.

Rufioh pushed his way to the doors of the crowded room. "Alright now we're going to be heading out in an orderly fashion. Let's not have another incident like last summer."

"What incident?" John asked looking over at Dave.

"He reminds us about last summer constantly." Dave sighed, rolling his eyes behind his shades. "Someone thought it would hilarious to put an animal inside every cabin."

John bit his lip that was twitching upward but he couldn't help the few snickers that escaped. "Pfft." The crowd began to inch its way out into the courtyard, following Rufioh to the mess hall. John noticed that the entire left row had people leaving their respective cabins, all except for the olive green one.

"Oh yes it was funny at the time, oh hell it's still funny." Dave admitted. "But our cabin was blamed for it because there wasn't one in ours. Thus everyone had to clean up after the messes the animals made which is why I hate crows."

"Oh my god." John clenched his lips tight but they twitched rapidly. Due to that he was imagining why Dave hated the black feathered birds with their annoying 'caw caws'.

"Yeah laugh it up, but crows are evil little bastards." Dave replied as a small shudder ran through him.

"If you say so." John replied just as they passed in between two of the pillars surrounding the mass of tables. He inhaled deeply as a wonderful smell permeated the air. He could smell chicken, beef, and fish. He followed Dave to the line that was moving fairly fast for such a long line.

"Oh sweet, they have ribs today." Dave commented as they drew closer where the food line started. He took a plate after the other did and followed looking from food tray to food tray. By the time he'd made his plate and was handed a glass of water, Dave was still in line for about five minutes longer.

"Sorry dude. I had to get some AJ." He said holding up a cheap looking juice box that read; Apple Juice. "Let's find a table and I'll introduce you to my peeps."

"Your friends are marshmallow Easter birds?" John replied sarcastically.

Dave laughed but didn't say anything until they got to a table off to the side. "Sup." Dave greeted the four sitting at the table. John slid into his seat next to Dave. "That's Terezi, Kanaya, and Sollux." The albino said while pointing to each person as he said their names.

"Who are you?" Terezi asked. She was a girl with shoulder length black hair and a grin that looked like it'd wanted to spread even farther than the boundaries of her cheeks. John couldn't see her eyes as they were covered by pointy red devil shades.

"I'm John." He replied as he dug into his food. He wanted to moan at how fucking good just that spoonful of mash. He didn't even realize that after that he pretty much just started shoveling his food down. Only pausing when he nearly choked, quickly grabbing the goblet he drank to unblock his windpipe.

"Another person to join the misfit parade." Sollux rolled his eyes while adjusting his red and blue 3D glasses. Sollux appeared to be Asian, what kind of Asian he couldn't put his finger on it.

"Don't be rude, Sollux." Kanaya chided. This chick had short brown hair with black lipstick that just made her already pale face even paler. Just like the other three at the table, she wore a pair of shades. But they didn't seem to fit her fasionista looking clothing as they were square and appeared to be cracked.

_**Am I sitting at the Shadey McShades Club Table or something? **_John thought as he set his drink down. Dave had settled on keeping quiet as he sipped on his cheap apple juice.

"You mean you're the kid who beat the minotaur?!" Terezi exclaimed standing up suddenly.

"And he still has all of his limps attached. I'm impressed." Kanaya chimed in with a small grin.

"Beginners luck." Sollux stated as he drizzled honey over his biscuits.

"I can only imagine how accelerating the battle was." Terezi cackled loudly, this action made John look at the red shaded girl like she'd grown a third head. "All that raw adrenaline pumping through your veins must've been so intoxicating."

"Don't mind Tz. She's a complete spazz when it comes to hearing about battles." Dave said as he took a breath from his apple juice before going right back to it. Terezi was waving around a fake sword and didn't seem to be paying much attention to her surroundings.

"Uh…. Okay…." He muttered. "I just… wish I'd saved my Dad."

"I'm sorry about your parent but that wound will heal in time." Kanaya stated, sounding like she knew what he was going through. Suddenly there was an exclamation of cursing, food flying up in the air, and hitting the back of one of a kid who had a purple streak going through his hair. There was a brief moment of deadly silence before someone yelled; FOOD FIGHT.

John only had seconds to duck sideways to avoid the oncoming steak headed straight for his face.

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Reviews wanted :)


	4. Update

To my readers of this fanfiction

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I will be updating as soon as I can but the chapters that I had finished are going to need to be rewritten because they were on my Mother's laptop which was stolen by people who were supposed to be family. Yeah and the police here won't do anything about because they do not care.

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I'm sorry everyone.


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